The Man/Boy

I'm confused. What are girls supposed to do. The date may change but the situation is the same. The sluttious Halloween costume may come off, but the tiny party dress comes back on. What is it about a girl that makes a guy even approach her? Is there something in her face that labels her as "easy" or is there really that proverbial "Fuck Off" stamped on her forehead that makes guys avoid her like the plague, even when she's cute/funny/hot/smart/talented/attractive etc. etc. etc.? Is it the girl that is just easy, or does the attention (because it is and can be so rare and sought-after) turn her into that person over time?

CAN ANYONE ANSWER THIS QUESTION???

I don't really think anyone, girl or guy, can explain it in true terms without a touch of magic or mysticism behind it.

nutrition

So, I've been a little frustrated lately. As a feminist, I often struggle with my goals of health, fitness and weight loss. My professors often talk about "beating one's body into submission" as a woman. Or conforming to what media messages say we should look like, what ideological structures hold us to. I'm not overweight, but I'm not completely happy with my body right now. I guess I just don't know if my goals for a thinner (not emaciated mind you) more fit body is driven by what I see around me, instead of what I know is right for my body. I know that I will be more comfortable and confident with myself if I get back to a healthier weight, but I have trouble distinguishing the source of this goal. I've been trying to lose some weight now for several months, actively since mid-June at least. I'm a fairly recent vegetarian, and I eat as healthfully as I can (for the most part). It's difficult in college, where the most tempting food is to eat out at restaurants, and fresh fruits and veggies go bad when your on a crazy exam/paper/work/sorority schedule. I guess I'm just struggling with whether I'm working this hard for the "right" reasons.

Feminism?

So, in my Gender and Media class today, we were talking about feminism. We read a very interesting article by Susan Douglas called "I'm Not a Feminist, but...". It basically talks about the backlash of the term "feminist". Many women would say that they believe and support women's rights, however, they balk at the term feminist. A Feminist is often associated with the extremes; bitchy, over-bearing, lesbian etc...This is so sad to me, especially since the term is not meant to be associated with those things at all. That is like saying that the extreme or fringe of any group (Civil Rights, Anti-War) defines the whole group. Can't someone believe and want to fight for women's rights without being a bra-burning man-hater?

Halloween=sluttious opportunity?

So, I've been thinking a lot about Halloween as it looms closer and closer. It's my favorite holiday, the candy, the costumes, the trick-or-treating. I love all if it. The joy I normally feel connected to Halloween has recently been stifled though. Girl's Halloween costume choices have been a huge topic of conversation in some of my classes lately. It also seems to be a hot topic for some of my guy friends. They keep asking me if I'm going to go as a slut for Halloween... Is that how guys really see girls? As waiting for any excuse to dress up as a slut? Now this maybe be true for some, if not most girls; but I think the reason behind this trend points to a very different set of influences. That's what confuses and frustrates me to no end. The only costumes available for girls over the age of 10 are the ones with "Sexy" in the title. It's almost impossible to find anything different, unless you want to go as a scary witch or a nun. Maybe I'll go as a mummy. Not a "Sexy Mummy" but just a completely covered up, nasty, embalmed, mummy. Then we'll see how they like it. Its increasingly difficult to get a date (or even someone to look at you, especially in college for that matter...) unless you are actively competing with the throngs of half-naked girls dirty dancing or drinking (or both) on Halloween night. Forget Halloween night, try ANY night. Guys automatically think of you as a slut, or some offshoot of that if you wear revealing clothes, but they also will not pay attention to unless you do.

Now to be fair, going to class and "going out" are two completely different situations. Meeting in class is much preferred, because that is where guys become the "nice, young men" that go to class and do their homework. It is when their out at night at frat parties that they become leering perverts who are only after the hottest girl they can find. Obviously, any girl would want to be with the first guy. However, the issue lies in the fact that they are the same person in most cases. It is hard to meet these guys in class, and easier (apparently when dressed they way they assume you are going to dress) to meet them at parties.

I guess I'm just frustrated with this unjust "system" in place. No guy really wants to date or marry a "slut" yet he fails to notice the real, fully clothed, girl sitting next to him in class; unless she's dressed as a "Sexy Goldie Locks" that is...

Self Defense

So I'm taking a self defense class through my school and it's basically amazing. It really hard, and is the most I ever sweat, but it's a kick-butt workout. basically it' personal training without the crazy gym bill! I think it's so important for women (and men for the matter) to know how to defend themselves. I'm not really an alarmist type person, but with all of the scary people out there, and scary things they do, we need to know how to take care of Number One if you know what I mean. Knowing what to do if you're attacked, or even threatened is so important. USC is not in a good neighborhood, and attacks have been happening a lot recently. It's just nice to know that I have some tools to defend myself if necessary.

Barbie and Alaska

Do girls need to have Barbies in order to grow up and become feminine? I've discussed this in classes before, but I've been wondering if the things we're given make us more or less feminine once we grow up. I think that we are mostly products of our surroundings and experiences, but that doesn't always account for a less-feminine woman coming from an extremely feminine upbringing.

My friends and I were also just discussing Sarah Palin and how Alaska apparently has the highest amount of rapes and domestic abuse in the United States. I'm not sure of the exact statistics, but I have heard it attributed to the large Inuit population and their culture. But if that is the case, and that many cases are being reported, it makes me wonder how many go unreported or ignored. I don't think it is fair to attribute issues such as rape or domestic violence to cultural reasons. Whether or not those situations are more "culturally acceptable" should not matter, it is still the reponsiblity of the state to protect its citizens, whether or not they actually consider them "worthy".

Mentee Outing 1

So today the mentoring program planned an outing with our mentees. We went to a really great cooking class in West Hollywood, called Chef's Inc. It was really fun there, and ended up being a great way to bond with the girls. We were able to make some delicious food, and then eat the fruits of our labor later! After we went back to my school, and discussed what it was like to go to each of the different programs (cooking, personal training, art gallery etc.). It seems like the girls learned a lot about being a college student, and some of the options available for them in the furture. I tried to explain what it might take to get to college, and some of the great things they can do once there. Krista seemed really excited and interested in Study Abroad, which was great!

What was even better was what J told me about last week. Our curriclum Wednesday was on Relationships and healthy vs. unhealthy ones. J was thinking about having this guy she liked come to visit her this weekend, but after session on Wednesday, she expressed to me that she was having second thoughts. She said she wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for him to come anymore. I didn't quite know how to advise her without being pushy of my personal opinions, but I basically told her that if her gut didn't feel quite right about him, she should wait on it for a bit. Well, I asked her if he ended up coming to visit, and she said no. She seemed relieved as well! I'm so happy that all worked out, and so happy that our program could have even a small effect on her life already. If these girls are able to take even a little bit away, and if it makes just a small impact, or even makes them think twice, then it is all more than worth it!

The Girl Effect

I just stumbled across this website, girleffect.org. It's amazing. I've always been interested in micro-lending, and heard about how it thrives when placed in the hands of women. But this site really put it into the bigger picture. Women, and girls, can change the world.

The Girl

I started this blog to work out some thoughts and ideas I have for the future. I'm not quite sure how this will go, but I guess that's what grace is all about. It's about setting the world up, and then letting it happen.

I go to a USC in Southern California. Here is where I will talk about my life there, especially about my experiences as a young woman. I am currently involved in a wonderful mentoring program through my school. I mentor two amazing 8th grade girls, I'll call them Jan and Krista. Jan and Krista are Latina and live in a low income neighborhood, one often associated with high crime. I will also discuss my experience throughout the year of being their mentor. That is the main purpose of this blog. To discuss my experience with them. I hope you can learn something about the young female experience through this. I am sure I'll be learning along with you!