The Slutty Generation

I was sitting in my sorority dining room today eating lunch with some of my sisters, and somehow we got on the topic of "our generation" versus our mother's. It was interesting because one girl made the comment that "Each generation is getting sluttier and sluttier! I mean, how do we stop that?" Another answered, "Ban Bratz dolls..." I just found this really interesting. She shared a story about how her mother is appalled that girls sleep at frats regularly. But she said that her mother also got married one month after graduating college, and my friend wondered out loud where she WAS sleeping during her engagement in college. I wondered the same question. If our mothers rarely drank or drank in moderation compared to our generation (another fact told to one of my friends) how did we turn into these promiscuous girls who are seemingly "out of control"?

I do not find myself to be one of those girls, and my mother was always open about sexuality and sex. Not in an inappropriate way, but I understood the concept early on. What I noticed was that many of my friends who are more promiscuous or bigger partiers than myself, learned little about sex or drinking from their parents. Their sex talks were stilted, strained and awkward. Does that contribute to promiscuity at a younger age, or perhaps a more "liberal" outlook when it comes to drinking and sex?

I really don't want to come across as blaming the "sluttier" generation on prudish mothers (because I know plenty of girls with much too "open" mothers who are JUST as "bad"...), but I am wondering if there is a correlation between the two. Can openness or at least the willingness to talk lead to more responsible young women, who don't feel as if sleeping around is a new, fun form of rebellion?

Worried

Over the Christmas break, I kind of lost track of my mentees J and K... I talked to J over the break once and she told me that her and K had a falling out...again. I know that these types of things are SO normal in middle school, but I just wish I could help them get through it more. They need to understand that other people's influence on their friendship can't cause the end of it. It just hurts me to know that both of them are having issues with each other, and that those issues were brought on by other people's gossip and rumor spreading! How can this type of behavior between girls be stopped?!

Feels Like College

This week has been amazing! Classes started last week and I've been absolutely loving all of them especially my Feminist Theory class. I was shocked to find that out of the 18 or so people in my class, about HALF are guys (STRAIGHT ones too!!) We've had stimulating conversations in every class, I didn't want to leave! It's just so nice to know that other people feel the same way as I do on some issues, but that we can also discuss disagreements openly and without judgement. It actually feels like....college....woah, weird right?

The Man/Boy

I'm confused. What are girls supposed to do. The date may change but the situation is the same. The sluttious Halloween costume may come off, but the tiny party dress comes back on. What is it about a girl that makes a guy even approach her? Is there something in her face that labels her as "easy" or is there really that proverbial "Fuck Off" stamped on her forehead that makes guys avoid her like the plague, even when she's cute/funny/hot/smart/talented/attractive etc. etc. etc.? Is it the girl that is just easy, or does the attention (because it is and can be so rare and sought-after) turn her into that person over time?

CAN ANYONE ANSWER THIS QUESTION???

I don't really think anyone, girl or guy, can explain it in true terms without a touch of magic or mysticism behind it.

nutrition

So, I've been a little frustrated lately. As a feminist, I often struggle with my goals of health, fitness and weight loss. My professors often talk about "beating one's body into submission" as a woman. Or conforming to what media messages say we should look like, what ideological structures hold us to. I'm not overweight, but I'm not completely happy with my body right now. I guess I just don't know if my goals for a thinner (not emaciated mind you) more fit body is driven by what I see around me, instead of what I know is right for my body. I know that I will be more comfortable and confident with myself if I get back to a healthier weight, but I have trouble distinguishing the source of this goal. I've been trying to lose some weight now for several months, actively since mid-June at least. I'm a fairly recent vegetarian, and I eat as healthfully as I can (for the most part). It's difficult in college, where the most tempting food is to eat out at restaurants, and fresh fruits and veggies go bad when your on a crazy exam/paper/work/sorority schedule. I guess I'm just struggling with whether I'm working this hard for the "right" reasons.

Feminism?

So, in my Gender and Media class today, we were talking about feminism. We read a very interesting article by Susan Douglas called "I'm Not a Feminist, but...". It basically talks about the backlash of the term "feminist". Many women would say that they believe and support women's rights, however, they balk at the term feminist. A Feminist is often associated with the extremes; bitchy, over-bearing, lesbian etc...This is so sad to me, especially since the term is not meant to be associated with those things at all. That is like saying that the extreme or fringe of any group (Civil Rights, Anti-War) defines the whole group. Can't someone believe and want to fight for women's rights without being a bra-burning man-hater?

Halloween=sluttious opportunity?

So, I've been thinking a lot about Halloween as it looms closer and closer. It's my favorite holiday, the candy, the costumes, the trick-or-treating. I love all if it. The joy I normally feel connected to Halloween has recently been stifled though. Girl's Halloween costume choices have been a huge topic of conversation in some of my classes lately. It also seems to be a hot topic for some of my guy friends. They keep asking me if I'm going to go as a slut for Halloween... Is that how guys really see girls? As waiting for any excuse to dress up as a slut? Now this maybe be true for some, if not most girls; but I think the reason behind this trend points to a very different set of influences. That's what confuses and frustrates me to no end. The only costumes available for girls over the age of 10 are the ones with "Sexy" in the title. It's almost impossible to find anything different, unless you want to go as a scary witch or a nun. Maybe I'll go as a mummy. Not a "Sexy Mummy" but just a completely covered up, nasty, embalmed, mummy. Then we'll see how they like it. Its increasingly difficult to get a date (or even someone to look at you, especially in college for that matter...) unless you are actively competing with the throngs of half-naked girls dirty dancing or drinking (or both) on Halloween night. Forget Halloween night, try ANY night. Guys automatically think of you as a slut, or some offshoot of that if you wear revealing clothes, but they also will not pay attention to unless you do.

Now to be fair, going to class and "going out" are two completely different situations. Meeting in class is much preferred, because that is where guys become the "nice, young men" that go to class and do their homework. It is when their out at night at frat parties that they become leering perverts who are only after the hottest girl they can find. Obviously, any girl would want to be with the first guy. However, the issue lies in the fact that they are the same person in most cases. It is hard to meet these guys in class, and easier (apparently when dressed they way they assume you are going to dress) to meet them at parties.

I guess I'm just frustrated with this unjust "system" in place. No guy really wants to date or marry a "slut" yet he fails to notice the real, fully clothed, girl sitting next to him in class; unless she's dressed as a "Sexy Goldie Locks" that is...